I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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