Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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