I have demons in me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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