I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it's like iHOP with fire
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
