eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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