Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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