Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
