You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize