just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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