Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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