Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
