I'm jealous of your bromance
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
