what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
