When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
