This girl is more easily done than said...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
