If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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