My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
