We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
