everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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