Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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