You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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