i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
