Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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