margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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