i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
