I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
