last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
