I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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