Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
