woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am available for nakedness
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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