bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize