You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
