my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
