i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
