shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
