today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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