It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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