i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
