i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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