Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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