I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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