i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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