well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is my gift to your gina
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
