can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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