I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
A bitchslap is in order.
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