meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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