How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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