Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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