the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
