So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
3 2 1 whiskey
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
