Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize