A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
only you would photoshop your dick
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
