Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
