that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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