You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
