Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She's JV to your varsity
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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