was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
