Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
