i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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