jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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