What a fucking waste of an outfit
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
