What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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